Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
