2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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