i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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