I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
