Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
