I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just pee around me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
