i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
