She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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