No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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