Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and she was petting her beer can
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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