Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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