my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Too much gin, very little bucket
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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