My liver just broke up with me...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
