My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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