okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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