Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
