In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
