I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
