And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
