My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
