Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
