Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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