I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
