Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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