I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
