Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
