I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
