mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
