What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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