I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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