My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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