you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
