I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
