Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
