stop calling my apartment porn island.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
