I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
