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i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
