we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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