ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
