Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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