Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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