doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
