I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
