Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
