well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
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