weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
