can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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