my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
