he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
