Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
