That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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