That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize