i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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