whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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