brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
