when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
